Bad Attitudes

I was back in Austin to testify on Monday and am still processing all that occurred.  I’m no rookie to the legislature but I witnessed some of the worst behavior so far.  Here are the round numbers: 

• HB1686 - a house bill that aims to ban transgender healthcare for minors and more
• 2,800  - Texans registered in opposition
• 100 – Texans registered in support
• 450 – those who clicked the box to testify in public
• 50 – number of witnesses heard
• 11 – members of the House Public Health Committee
• 12 - number of hours the committee heard testimony
• 18 – number of hours I and many others were at the Capitol
• 22 - number of hours I was awake!   

So if you’re unfamiliar, you need to get to the Capitol to register to testify as early as possible to have a chance to speak.  I arrived at 6:40 am.  They started laying out the bill around 10 am, took an hour recess at 2 pm for the full House to convene on the floor, and then returned to the hearing at 3 pm.  Republicans exploited the process for 12 hours in such a gross way that it would have been comical if lives were not at stake.  They flew in witnesses from other states, invited “expert” witnesses to speak that were anything but, and then asked absurd questions of those in support of this bad bill in order to kill time and just flat out lied about trans kids and their doctors.  It was obvious they were not going in order of registration and were trying to skew the hearing towards supportive witnesses.

One exchange in particular stood out to me since I look at politics through a faith lens (photo).  An affirming Methodist minister testified he was against this bill because it discriminated against a small group of God’s children and all God’s children are worthy (I’m paraphrasing).  Rep. Tony Tinderholt proceeded to challenge, bully, and shame this pastor.  It was a disgusting display of bigotry and the worst example of Christianity.  It was the Sermon on the Mount in full color:  “Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.” At one point the representative asked what the pastor thought the Apostle Paul would say about this. 

Fuming, I revised my testimony while listening to Prince at full volume in my airpods.  I deleted a few lines and added a few thoughts, hoping it was still under three minutes.  Shortly before midnight, I was called to testify. 

I had been praying all day, there was an all-day prayer vigil at the Capitol, and a virtual prayer vigil going by the Justice & Peace Response Team. As I looked at the committee, I thought “I am not afraid of any of you.” I am usually more measured in my testimony; the Spirit was upon me as I spat out my words.  

There were cheers heard from the overflow rooms while the hearing room maintained decorum.  It was a small victory as literally hundreds of transgender voices were silenced by the abuse of the process by Republicans.  But Tinderholt finally got his answer about what Apostle Paul might say.  To watch three minutes of Mama Bear Fury, click below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7A7yanx1H4s&t=1s

Texas. Oh, Texas.

I have been planning for this day for weeks.  I socialized as much as I could last week because I was afraid if Texas went further to the right, I wouldn’t be up for company.  Our grief is particular to our family and I know for many, there are other implications that sting just as much.  So here goes…

Intent is never on the ballot. It may not be your intent to harm our family with your conservative vote. However, you are not absolved from the harm because it wasn’t your intent or you choose to stick your head in the sand. The Republican platform and lawmakers are very clear about their plans. I will continue to hold conservatives accountable for the damage they are inflicting on LGBTQ+ people and transgender people especially.  Giving conservative lawmakers more power is never allyship; it is dangerous. 

I was an election judge yesterday at a polling location so it was a good distraction from the gravity of the day.  I especially try to ensure that those who may be at risk for being marginalized are treated with great respect.  I wear my progress pin as a signal that I am a safe person.  I am always deeply moved by Black voters.  I’ll say it again: the fact that African Americans haven’t burned this country to the ground is a testament to their character.  This morning, I am wondering if I have any fight left in me and my people haven’t experienced half of what they have.

I had three interactions with African American folks that will stay with me.  A young and energetic poll watcher joined us and I could see poll watching was too passive for her.  It was hard to tell her that we couldn’t converse unless she was notifying me of an observed irregularity but these boundaries protect everyone.  There were a few opportunities for us to interact.  I encouraged her to become an election clerk and we exchanged contact info so I can hire her for the next election. I wished I could have heard her story.  When she left, she gave me the very kindest note. 

An older man in a motorized wheelchair came in to vote.  I was assisting the clerks check him in and he had a really hard time using the equipment so I asked him if he wanted my assistance in the booth.  I enlarged the font on the screen so he could read the text and helped him make his selections. As he voted, he told me about his concerns for our democracy. Of course, I had to tell him that I couldn’t comment but I hoped he knew I was a kindred spirit.  He had so much dignity and resolve and I wished I could have hugged him. 

Lastly, a mom came in with her teenager who appeared to be possibly gender non-conforming and we celebrated their first time voting.  While they waited for an open booth, the mother commented that they were exercising their civil rights. We shared a moment about that and I wished I could have shared some encouraging words but election law prevented me from doing so.  

There are many things I would like to say to folks when I am working elections to show them they are seen.  But due to election law, my verbal interactions are regulated.  This is fair and correct so I choose my words carefully and show respect in other ways: eye contact, an open posture, a smile, showing patience when things get complicated, answering questions completely, thanking them for voting, being aware when they seem confused, and keeping snacks handy for tired children.  For those who experience discrimination, voting is a special vulnerability.  I hate turning anyone away from the poll and I will exhaust every method to qualify them. And if they can’t vote that day, I give them information to remedy the issue and be as gentle as I can delivering this bad news.  I had to turn away a new citizen who said he registered to vote at his naturalization ceremony earlier in the year.  The disappointment was heartbreaking. 

Most of us have not experienced being excluded from participating in our democracy.  I believe exclusion is one of the most painful human experiences.  My family must now make some very difficult decisions in order to get my child to safety. All indicators tell us that her lifesaving healthcare will be banned through age 25 and the wave of anti-trans sentiment will only increase. She cannot live in this environment.  I am determined to help my child get to a place where the majority affirms all the beauty, magic and gifts she embodies.  She deserves to be included in all spaces and truly seen.  The vote is sacred and so is she.    

Scary Things

[Reposted from May 2022.]  Yesterday was an election run-off in Harris County.  I was serving as an election judge in a very red area where it is a challenge to staff a democratic polling location.  What a gift it was to serve with six young people from 17 to 20 years old.  When was the last time you spent 14 hours with a racially and LGBTQ diverse group of young people?  I knew it was going to be low democratic turnout so I brought quiet games, puzzles, and conversation cards.  It felt like the we were in The Breakfast Club, a movie they had never heard of.  Our side of the gym was a vivid contrast to the mostly older and completely white staff and voters at the Republican poll.  In another four years, 18 to 25 years old voters will be the most powerful voting block in the nation.  I felt like I was sitting with the future of America. 

Since it is against election code to use any sort of communication device within 100 feet of a polling location, it was late in the day when we heard about the school shooting in Uvalde.  After spending the entire day listening to these young people’s hopes and plans, it was devastating to see the future taken from other children – yet again.

The fear is definitely swirling after this tragic event and it made me think about all of the fears that are dividing us. 

For conservatives, there is a fear of scary ideas.  For progressives, there is a fear of scary actions.  So on the conservative side, there has been a lot of fear around the ideas that racism still exists, that gender is different than sex, that sexuality is a spectrum, that gay parents are okay, that giving birth could be a choice, that gender roles might not matter.  And the interesting thing is that if all of these ideas are true (even if you are unhappy about them), you personally are actually not harmed.  As our society becomes more inclusive, diverse, and broad, you may find your influence or your comfort affected but there isn’t data that shows you are actually harmed or unsafe. 

For progressives, the fear of scary actions tend to focus on dying by gun violence, dying by freezing to death (when the Texas grid fails), losing one’s healthcare, losing the right to vote, dying at the hands of police, losing the choice to marry or give birth, or experiencing discrimination.  I’m a data person and there is good data to substantiate these fears. 

No other peer country experiences the gun violence that we do in the US.  Hundreds of people died in Texas because we don’t require our power providers to winterize.  More black males die at the hands of police than any other group.  The official Republican platform states their intention to overturn marriage equality and the right to bodily autonomy.  More than a dozen states have recently passed laws restricting voting.  Texas authorities are investigating parents of transgender children who obtain gender care.  Same gender couples are rejected for mortgages at a higher rate than straight couples when risk factors are equal. 

But here’s one fear we have in common:  guns.  But curiously, progressives fear dying by a gun and conservatives fear not being able to own a gun.  Again, if Americans had to submit to a background check and were prohibited from owning weapons of war, how would they be harmed?  Many argue owning guns is a defense against a tyrannical government.  Thinking that our democracy is still going because our elected leaders fear their armed constituents is a fallacy.  If our government turns into a dictatorship, no AR-15 will save us against the might of the US military.  Our democracy is still standing because of the right to vote. 

But many are clinging to the second amendment “on principle” and that we must go back to the framer’s original intent.  If we want to go there, then Americans should only be allowed to own muskets because that would have been the framer’s intent at the time.  They never could have imagined a handheld gun that could kill multiple people in seconds.  If we apply any context to this amendment, such as we did when we interpreted “all men are created equal” to actually be “all people,” it is met with vehement opposition.  This narrow interpretation of the US Constitution is literally killing us.

What I have been mulling over today is how we treat the US Constitution as if it is scripture and we treat the Bible as if it is statute.  The Constitution gets this hallowed treatment to the point that children are dying on the altar of the second amendment and the Bible gets used as if it is nothing more than a book of laws and not the story of how to love each other.   Our response to the tragedy of gun violence must be compassionate but our solution must be political because that is where the power lies to change the future.  For all children with hopes and dreams, the time is now. 

Going Home

As I emotionally limp into 2022, I keep wondering how I will see 2021 once I get some distance from it.  During a time when physical safety concerns required me to mostly isolate, I felt called to risk my emotional safety by putting myself in very public forums by speaking out against conservative, anti-LGBTQ+ legislation.  It has been a strange year of protecting my physical self while making my emotional self very vulnerable. 

For a few years, I knew I was being prepared for advocacy but had no clear idea of how that would take shape.  One thing I was very sure of however, was that I would be doing it as a Christian.  Before I ever went to the capitol, I knew I had to speak as an affirming Christian because for years, I listened to the stories of LGBTQ+ Christians who have been wounded by the Christian church.  This is the heartbreak of my life: that the Christian faith could be twisted in a way that inspires thoughts of suicide.  A tragedy. 

I won’t describe in any detail my experience at the Texas Legislature because talking about it still triggers a bodily trauma response.  The bigotry of the invited witnesses and the conservative legislators was a repulsive display.   To watch witnesses crying and literally begging legislators to stop exploiting them for votes and for those Christian lawmakers to show no mercy, was the most bitter pill.  It took days to decompress after each hearing and I am still recovering.  People thank me for doing this and I don’t really know what to say to that.  I sacrificed myself on the altar of power.  You’re welcome seems... awkward. 

After one regular session and three special sessions called by the governor, the horror show was finally over.  Only one bill out of the 76 proposed made it into law but still so much was lost.  To have the personhood and dignity of LGBTQ+ Texans debated in the public square came at a cost.  The suicide hotline calls from LGBTQ+ youth increased significantly and many people came away believing the propaganda that girls sports were in need of protection from transgender athletes – a total lie. 

I realized the only thing I could control in this state was the little parcel of land where my house sits.  Our home.  We discussed moving out of Texas but family commitments do not allow us to do that at this time.  So we decided to make our home a place of comfort and return to our previous parish where most everyone knew our story and they so beautifully affirmed my daughter's transition.   As God would have it, St. Mary's Advent theme was Home.  Singing in the choir during Advent and Christmas was a tonic.

We set out to update our kitchen after staring at the “dungeon of doom” for the last 15 years.  One of the paint colors we chose is called “nurture” and I think that is the theme for 2022.  We are nurturing peace, joy, and comfort.  We are being very selective with outside projects and people while we heal in many different ways. I have created a cozy spot to dive into work on The Itchy Sweater, a book I am writing with co-author Carrie Garske Shank.  Our book will attempt to stand in the gap between the Christian church and the transgender community.  We hope to encourage Christians who are curious about fully affirming the beautiful humanity of transgender people. 

The very sad thing about the efforts to keep transgender people on the margins is the loss of their gifts being shared with our communities.  To be transgender or non-binary is to have done deep soul work – the kind many people never do – and come out with profound understanding of individual self and humanity as a whole.  Their insight truly TRANSforms and we need more of that in this world. 

My last testimony was a personal appeal to the Christians on the House Select Committee on Constitutional Rights and Remedies.  Watch here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIdDdh9Cae4 

 

 

Discrimination Domino

The following is a transcript of the testimony I gave to the Texas Senate Health and Human Services Committee regarding SB2 & SB32, the transgender sports ban bills.

I’m Molly Carnes and I am the Christian parent of a precious transgender daughter.  I’m speaking in opposition to SB2 and SB32.

We all know this isn’t about sports. This is a conservative vote getter.  I’m going to focus on the most ugly part of this bill.  Creating a barrier to changing a minor’s gender marker on their birth certificate is a Discrimination Domino.

The way this bill is written, it forces minors to decide to either live truthfully or to live as an imposter – this last option having grave consequences for their mental health.  And since we’re talking about children… Here’s the If You Give a Mouse a Cookie effect of your bill.  If you are transgender and you don’t get a birth certificate that reflects your true gender…

·      Not only can you not participate on the sports team of your gender
·      Depending on when your 18^th birthday falls (I graduated at 17)
·      You can’t get a transcript in your correct name/gender
·      You can’t get a correct diploma
·      You can’t get a correct social security card
·      So you can’t complete your FAFSA app
·      So you can’t apply for scholarships
·      So you can’t get financial aid
·      So you can’t go to college. 
·      And you can’t get an ID
·      So you cant open a bank account
·      and you can’t travel on an airplane.
·      And you can’t get correct medical records
·      and you can’t get your prescriptions in the correct name.
·      And you can’t get a job because you don’t have a social security card
·      So you can’t get a loan or a credit card.
·      So you can’t rent an apartment.
·      So you can’t buy a car.

Unless you conform to the norm and live as an imposter, you are pushed to the margins of society in every sense:  Educational, financial, vocational, and in danger of being outed and attacked for being transgender. 

When your civil rights depend on your body – whether that is skin color, your physical ability, or your private parts – instead of your inherent worth as a human being  - that is the foundation for discrimination.

The beautiful thing about transgender people is that they understand at a very deep level that their soul, not their body, is truly who they are and who we all are.  And that is the foundation for dignity and respect.  I believe they are God’s messengers who are teaching us a very important lesson – perhaps one we should have learned as children. 

       

Brood of Vipers

I currently have a Black Lives Matter sign in my yard so when my local Texas House Rep suggested attending the school board meeting where Critical Race Theory might be addressed, I figured if I had the sign, I needed to use my voice.  Apparently, Critical Race Theory is the new hot button topic for conservatives and they were going to attend the meeting to express their concern that schools were teaching this theory.  

And for the record, Critical Race Theory has been around since the 70’s.  Legal scholars developed this theory in an effort to understand why the civil rights legislation of the 60’s hadn’t produced equality for African Americans in the US.  It’s not a historical theory – it’s a legal lens.  And to say that race plays a role in this country’s systems is an understatement.  I won’t debate that here but nobody cared about this theory until recently.  Fox News mentioned CRT over 1,300 times in the last three and a half months.  So, no surprise really that now conservatives are upset about it.

I have watched Trump rallies on TV and the internet.  I’ve seen the anger and bigotry of these conservatives but never in person.  Here is how it went down.

We gathered outside the building and in the lobby to wait for the speaking sign-up to begin. During that time, some people had signs either supporting CRT or not.  One of the conservative protestors asked a friend of mine with a sign if she “was even part of this community.”  As we gathered inside a small lobby with a locked door on one side and the other door leading outside, one of the conservatives yelled for everyone to be quiet. Then her friend told everyone to bow their heads in prayer.  I was standing next to my Texas House Representative who is Jewish.  The prayer was a Christian prayer, down to the blood of Jesus.  I thought about all those wounded by the Christian church and how triggering this must have been to be unable to escape this display.  And I thought about others who may not be believers or of another faith who apparently didn’t matter to this Christian.  I consider myself super religious; I see my life through my faith lens but I am so offended when Christians force their faith practices on others.  This brings nobody to Jesus. 

As speakers were called upon to share their two-minute opinion, many of the conservatives invoked the name of Jesus.  When anyone with an opposing view was invited to share their two-minute opinion, they interrupted.  They heckled them.  They yelled at one board member to “speak up” after which he explained he had throat cancer.  They heckled the African American board member who shared the district's demographics and information about an equity audit to address the systemic racism they acknowledged in the district.  They were bullies, period. 

It was surreal to hear the outrageous claims being made:  that Critical Race Theory was being taught (despite the board explaining they follow the state curriculum that doesn’t include CRT); that CRT is Marxism; that this is the 1960’s in reverse with white people as the victims; that social justice is somehow bad.  And as they stated all their “proof” racism doesn’t exist, most all did so as Christians.  As they interrupted and bullied anyone who disagreed with them, they did so as Christians.  It was a disgusting display of the worst of Christianity. 

The board struggled to control the meeting and I wondered why they didn’t clear the room and make everyone wait in the hallway until called upon.  When the board president or attorney tried to explain that they were observers of the meeting, they just yelled back at them.  This was from a mob of unruly, rude, and hostile adults who cited Jesus’ command to love your neighbor.  I described my experience of lobbying conservative legislators for my LGBTQ child’s equal rights as going into the lion’s den.  But last night, I found myself in a brood of vipers and I am still wondering how many potential Christians were pushed even further away from Jesus. 

Soul-diers

My transgender child was baptized on Pentecost 18 years ago and here we are again; today is Pentecost aka the birthday of the Church.  Pentecost commemorates the disciples receiving the Holy Spirit in the form of fire and wind, 50 days after the resurrection of Christ.  In addition, all those gathered could hear the sermon in their native language.  It must have been a mind-blowing experience.  Instead of going to church to observe this Christian feast day, we decided to be the church.  We traveled to Austin to stand in solidarity with other parents of transgender children and their allies at our state capitol.

About 125 of us made signs to protest the anti-transgender legislation being considered by the Texas Legislature.  Then we made our way to the entrance of the House Chamber to line the stairs and hallway as the members reported for a rare Sunday session.  It was an exercise in visibility, no words were spoken as we stood in silence holding our flags and placards.   I watched the small area fill with lobbyists with hungry eyes, backslapping and gladhanding.  Some laughed with legislators as though nothing unusual was going on.  The laughing seemed forced, as if they were trying to distract themselves.  It was a stark contrast – those appearing carefree while we silently pleaded for freedom from persecution. 

And then I heard a lone violin.  A hush fell over the space for a bit, a sort of respect in the chaos.  The mournful music was like a soundtrack that told our sad stories without lyrics.  And it felt holy.  And sacred.  And it was church.  Jesus always stood against the powerful who used the law to exclude others.   

I was carrying one of two homemade, religious-themed signs, mine simply stating:  Christians for Trans Rights.  One of the lobbyists suddenly looked at me and said “and today is Pentecost!  God poured out his spirit on all flesh – on everybody – all nations!”  I just said, “that’s right.”  It was surreal to be standing in this hall, asking for all people to be treated equally on this particular day.  On the day when Christians celebrate the divine in all of us and the ability to truly hear one another, here we stood knowing that our oppressors are Christians. 

My local House representative gave me a hug and offered words of encouragement while other supportive legislators stopped to cheer us on and take photos.  I looked around and saw parents whom I’ve come to know these past months and many new faces, all there with their stories and fears and hopes.  These amazing advocates are what I call Soul-diers.  While the State of Texas continues to objectify my daughter, these people understand that the soul, not the body, is the most important part of a human being.  Whether someone is male or female or neither, is secondary to the soul God gave each person.   They see the sacred person inside.  They are Soul-diers for justice. 

Part of the Episcopal liturgy for baptism requires parents/guardians to “name this child.”  My daughter was baptized in a name she no longer uses.  But the priest also pronounces to each new Christian, “you are sealed by the Holy Spirit and marked as Christ’s own forever.”  Amen to that.  She is created by God, known by God, loved by God and will belong to Christ always.  My prayer is for our legislators to do some soul searching this week and find a way to honor the holy in all people.  The Soul-diers are standing by.

Spiritual Warfare

The last time I felt I was engaged in spiritual warfare was 2011.  My son was addicted to drugs and I felt we were in a battle with the devil.  It was a scary time filled with doubt but it instilled in me spiritual disciplines that I still practice today.  I am happy to share he will be ten years sober tomorrow.  Alleluia!

Fast forward to today and I am reflecting on my experiences at the Texas Capitol these past weeks. I made my sixth trip yesterday to advocate for the right to healthcare privacy for my daughter and all transgender Texans.  Along with other fierce parents, I spoke before television cameras, boiling my heartbreak down to 120 seconds, knowing that maybe 15 seconds would actually get used in the story.  

We then headed to lawmakers’ offices to share our stories in more detail, in hopes of activating their compassion for our children.  I had a particularly difficult interaction with one House Representative’s aide and I could not recover enough to carry on so I headed home.  It’s a particular sort of injury to travel to the seat of your state government to plead for those in power to consider your child worthy of equal civil rights.  Just the fact that we must have these discussions is deeply diminishing.  And when these people, who refuse to educate themselves on the science and identify as Christian, have no empathy for the pain they are causing, it feels like I am in the presence of evil.  And I very rarely ever use the word “evil” to describe anyone because I feel we all have a dark side.  

The more I go to Austin, the more I believe what we are doing is engaging in spiritual warfare.  Even if you do not identify with Christianity or any faith, what is playing out in our government is the result of soul sickness.  A person’s soul is sick if they continue to cause harm when their victims are crying out for relief. 

I truly believe the 30 discriminatory anti-LGBTQ+ bills in the Texas Legislature are the result of twisted Christian theology: the misguided condemnation of LGBTQ+ people and the teaching to members that they are sinful, bad, broken, and evil by nature.  If you tell people their entire lives they are evil, it breeds a deep self-loathing.  So when they try to love others as themselves, I call it a recipe for ugly pie.

I am beyond grateful that as Episcopalians, my husband and I never heard these damaging messages and my transgender child hasn’t either.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was created in God’s image for a wonderful purpose.  She’s not broken; she has a unique perspective from which to serve the world.   

Imagine if all Christian churches were teaching that all people are beloved, created for a wonderful purpose, and that Jesus is crazy in love with them?  There would be no way to exploit the LGBTQ community or Christian voters, for one thing.  And living out your faith would be about honoring the sacred in others, not ticking boxes on a purity checklist.  My deepest calling is to participate in untangling the Gospel of love from twisted theology which ties people in knots instead of liberates them.  What can you do to create a world where all people belong?  

For more on our story of the lifesaving care my daughter received and how politics affect transgender Texans, click here for my interview on NPR with David Martin Davies.  https://one.npr.org/?sharedMediaId=992563173:992563175&fbclid=IwAR1_JpETJ7ERr3dCIu5bBkzu5tM-170y-tJd2nbduREthXf6zOcYuHAetw4

To watch the trailer for the new documentary, 1946 The Movie, which traces the mistranslation that put the word “homosexual” in the Bible for the first time in 1946, click here.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBYDBzLhI2c

Emotional Whiplash

 It’s taken a bit for me to process how I feel about yesterday.  My daughter and I traveled to our state capitol to testify before the Public Health Committee of the Texas House.  If you’re not aware, Texas has the most anti-LGBTQ bills moving through the process of any state in the US.  This week was a particularly onerous week for hearings on these kinds of bills.  

Some bills aim to make it a criminal offense to get gender affirming healthcare for transgender children or for doctors to provide that treatment.  Other bills punish doctors who provide this care by making it impossible for them to obtain malpractice insurance.  Other bills make it legal for any medical provider (even pharmacists!) to deny care to anyone based on their personal religious, moral, or ethical beliefs.  Proponents of this last bill say the law is “about procedures, not people” but when you ask them to include language that you can’t deny care to a patient based on race, age, disability, religion, gender, identity or orientation, they refuse.  So it is about people.   

Back to the feelings.  All day, I felt both powerful and powerless.   

• Arriving at the capitol to participate in democracy:  POWERFUL!
• Finding no information desk or state employees to help:  powerless.
• Registering to testify against dangerous legislation:  POWERFUL!
• Seeing armed guards with machine guns in the hallways:  powerless.
• Meeting other advocates, parents, and transgender individuals:  POWERFUL!
• Learning they delayed the process so it may go till midnight:  powerless.
• Speaking at a press conference in support of healthcare privacy and equity:  POWERFUL!
• Being heckled by opponents with words and disgusted looks:  powerless.
• Meeting with our affirming state representative:  POWERFUL!
• Seeing a dangerously unaffirming representative lead a male prayer circle:  powerless.
• Dropping off my card with that same dangerous rep and requesting meeting:  POWERFUL!
• Hearing testimony from people who don’t care if my child will be affected:  powerless.
• Giving personal testimony to the committee:  POWERFUL!
• Hearing that testimony is cut off early and my daughter won’t be heard:  powerless.

I was the only person opposing these bills who spoke from a faith perspective.  As I listened to the opposition, they spoke as if they were the moral compass for all people while dismissing the discriminatory healthcare experiences of LGTBQ Texans. 

In my testimony I reminded them that if they feel supporting these bills makes them defenders of the faith, they need to hear this:  the condemnation of LGBTQ people at the hands of Christians makes some want to kill themselves.  If your theology inspires thoughts of suicide, it is not the fruit of the Spirit.  I also proclaimed that my child is created in God’s image and she is not broken.  She has a unique perspective to serve the world for a good purpose ordained by God. 

I was overwhelmed by the feedback and tears from listeners who thanked me for speaking as an affirming Christian.  There is a misperception that Christians are not affirming of their LGBTQ neighbors.  Some aren’t, but many are.  My belief that LGBTQ individuals are sacred and whole isn’t in conflict with my faith but because of my faith.  If you agree, speak up.  When you call or email your elected officials, tell them you are a Christian (or other faith) and you oppose any anti-LGBTQ legislation.  POWERFUL!

For the public testimony on HB1424, (I speak at about 5:08 in the video) link here...  https://tlchouse.granicus.com/MediaPlayer.php?view_id=46&clip_id=20320&fbclid=IwAR1X-g-FYWZiJePgT_X1QJM1MUBSz-v1E8fii7g81Lk9UDKocMHdjfrLPnU

Why We Need the Republican Party

I was five years old when Nixon resigned. I remember sitting with my mom on her bed as she watched a small television on the dresser. I was crying because she was crying. She explains that at the time, she thought Nixon was being unfairly targeted. Later she realized he really was a crook.

My hope is that many Republicans who believe that Trump is being unfairly targeted will later accept the damage he did with his lies and criminal acts. The reason I hope for this is not because I want to be right. I want a functioning Republican party. We need at least two functioning parties to produce the best solutions to our issues. We need two functioning parties to keep either party from becoming far right or left. A Trump Party is not a functioning party.

I don't believe the rioters at the US Capitol last week represent the majority of Republicans in so far as insurrection being an action they would commit. But they do represent a voting block that conservative candidates need in order to get elected. Unfortunately, Republicans can't get elected without fundamentalist Christians and white supremacists and it is killing their party. Republicans haven't won the presidential popular vote in the last 20 years except for W after 9/11. Voters don't like to change presidents during a war. Bottom line is most Americans don't want what they're selling.

I started working in Republican campaigns when I was 11 when my dad became interested in community organizing. I started block walking and by high school, was doing phone banking and worked as a page at many Republican conventions. I met Reagan, HW Bush, and Gov. Clements knew me by name. My parents were passionately moderate and expressed concern when, in the early 80's, conservative Christians started mobilizing around abortion. My dad was particularly concerned but appreciated the help and they were motivated like no other voting block. When he was in charge of the Harris County Republican vacancy committee, he rejected the call for a litmus test for new candidates to determine if they were prolife or prochoice. I can hear him now saying "Donald Trump is a four-flusher!" That was his word for a conman. I will say that I watched one episode of The Apprentice and thought he was a fraud back then.

Anyway, I expect it will take eight to ten years to rebuild the Republican party to something that resembles a functioning democratic republic movement. But, we Democrats will hold it together until then.

The (un)Common Good

My Gen-Z teenager said yesterday that she didn’t want to be a witness to any more historical events. She wants a tasteless, odorless, colorless, plain cheese pizza of a 2021.  I agree.

The past four years have been painful in so many ways.  As the mother of a transgender queer child, watching the Trump administration take over 65 discriminatory actions against LGBTQ Americans has been a stake to my heart.  Watching others support those attacks with their voices and votes, no matter how politely, has been brutal.  But in addition to the impact on our own family, seeing the lack of empathy that has overtaken our culture is shocking. 

The defense of the murder of George Floyd (he had a record).  The defense of babies taken away from their mothers (they shouldn’t have come here).  The resistance to a living wage (just work harder).  The abuse of the planet (business comes first).  The outrage at vandalism of property (lives lost are secondary).  The jaded acceptance of deaths due to covid (it’s the individual’s responsibility).  The lack of concern for others’ safety (I have a right not to mask). The refusal to provide access to healthcare (that’s socialism). The dismissal of the US Capitol rioters (they were imposters).  This has become common and it is not good. 

And it is not pro-life.  All these attitudes lead to death.  More than ever, we know that the position of POTUS is critically important. Some used to say, "the real power lies in Congress and the president is mostly a figurehead." When a president lies about election fraud, millions of people believe him even when all evidence is to the contrary. When a president encourages violence, thousands act, even though it is illegal. When a president uses dehumanizing language, millions lose empathy for their neighbor, even though their religion commands mercy.  For all the railing against radicals – however you define it - this dog eat dog culture is what I find most radical.  

I pray that the next four years, we find our way back to truth, not because we are followers but because we find a part of ourselves that got lost these past four years. The truth is: pursuing the common good, not maintaining our own comfort, is how we make America a more perfect union.  God help us.  

For a well sourced list of the discriminatory actions taken by the Trump administration since January 20, 2017, see https://transequality.org/the-discrimination-administration 

   

 

It's Personal

 In case you’ve been living under a rock, we have an election in November.  Every election is a triggering event for me.  I am the mother of a precious and beautiful child who is part of the LGBTQ community.  Every election, I am reminded of the reasons people give for putting people in power that take rights and protections away from my child.  Many think marriage equality was upheld so there is nothing else to worry about – not so.  Over and over, my heart is broken by strangers and by friends and by family.

So, before you vote in November, maybe you can at least understand the ramifications of your vote on my family and maybe even vote for equality for my child.  I am desperately fighting for my daughter to have equal rights by the time she finishes college and enters adulthood. 

In Texas, there is no protection for my child from discrimination in housing, education, healthcare, credit, or gender marker change, for instance.  Several key protections were rescinded by the current federal administration.  The Supreme Court recently ruled that the 1964 Civil Rights Act included protection from employment discrimination for LGBTQ Americans so thank you to those justices who consider my child worthy of her right to fair employment.  And make no mistake, LGBTQ people are suffering from discrimination in the areas I list above. These are not exaggerated or isolated incidents.  And it’s not only the absence of protections; it is the passing of discriminatory legislation as well. 

The experience of someone in authority telling you they refuse to treat your child with dignity or to abide by a judge’s order is one I hope nobody has.  The experience of parents telling their kids they can’t come to our house or waiting on pins and needles to see if the legal system will treat your child fairly is heartbreaking.  If you haven’t been through this, you don’t understand how it diminishes you.  I will say this experience has made me even more supportive of dismantling any sort of structures or systems that perpetuate injustice.

Some people won’t vote for a progressive candidate because they want lower taxes or the unborn are more important than my [already born] child or while they are “fiscally conservative but socially progressive,” they vote conservatively because well, the economy.  The economy/my wallet argument is a luxury and a privilege I don’t have.  And to be clear, civil rights are not “social issues” to believe in or not believe in.  What I hear is:  My bank account is more important than civil rights for your child.  It’s personal. 

Please don’t tell me you are working to “change things from the inside.”  There is no time for that.  One day, the Republican party will recover from the damage done by Trump and the religious right.  But right now, my daughter needs healthcare, education, and safety.  And dignity.

And lastly, do not tell me you love or support my child while voting for conservatives, especially in this election.  You are not supporting my child.  While you may be a sympathizer, you are not an ally.  An ally cares so much about issues that don’t directly affect them, that they are willing to give up something to help.  If you still want to vote for conservatives, that’s your right.  But don’t go to bed at night with a clear conscience because you feel sorry for us. 

If you would like to learn more about the science of gender and sexuality, I recommend the National Geographic documentary, Gender Revolution.

If you would like to learn more about the experience of being LGBTQ in America, watch the documentary, For They Know Not What They Do.

My Mask Meltdown

I had a meltdown last night.  I made a rare stop at the grocery store to get a few things.  I left angry.  About half the customers weren’t wearing masks which put me and others at risk for contracting the Covid-19 virus. When I talked to the manager (yep!), she lamented it was a corporate decision and although they had appealed to the union, they are still in danger every day due to customers without masks.  I posted on Facebook:  “If you don’t wear a mask at the grocery store, just unfriend me now.” 

On Facebook, I was called “harsh” for rejecting friendships that lack concern for others.  It was labeled “not cool” to draw a line in the [safety] sand.  Apparently, it is a “personal choice” to endanger others and I need to respect that.  Here’s what’s harsh and not cool:  not caring enough to consider how your individual actions impact the common good.  Maybe there is a very good reason for not wearing a mask, but I never hear anyone explain beyond a simple preference.  Comfort, I guess?

My 91-year old mother lives with me and she has emphysema and lung cancer.  So, in this time of quarantine, masks on others are critical.  If I were to contract the virus and bring it home to my mother, she would not survive.  Our homemade masks (thanks to our teen) minimally protect us from contracting Covid-19 but primarily they protect others in the event we are asymptomatic carriers.  The science is clear on this point: you can shed the virus even if you feel perfectly fine.

If you want excellent information about how the virus is transmitted in stores, restaurants, etc. from an expert - not a politician or a journalist - see the link at the end of this post. 

In addition to Costco making masks a requirement for entrance to their stores, I learned that Whole Foods was asking all customers to wear masks and providing them if you didn’t have one.  Since we needed groceries, I set off for Whole Foods.  There were multiple safety precautions and I saw only two customers without masks.  And it was glorious.

 

It felt like love.  It felt like light.  It felt holy.  Strangers with a message all over their faces:  I see you.  Your safety matters.  I am willing to be uncomfortable to keep you well.  We’re in this together.  It was holy. 

I love the way Lutheran Pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber describes holiness. She says that holiness is the connection of things human and divine…the coming together of things formerly set apart.  Pastor Nadia is careful to reject the dangerous theology that purity is the same thing as holiness:  “holiness is about union with, and purity is about separation from.”  

This putting others above our own comfort is exactly what Jesus was talking about when he said the most important laws were loving God and loving neighbor.  If we are to encounter the holy, be in union with our fellow humans during this difficult time, then our actions must foster safety and reduce risk.  

Christina Baldwin, author of The Seven Whispers, says “the purpose of life is not to maintain personal comfort; it’s to grow the soul.”  My prayer is that this quarantine is growing our souls in new and radical ways because our literal lives depend on it. 

https://www.erinbromage.com/post/the-risks-know-them-avoid-them?fbclid=IwAR0wOPJiLWiTie08Y9nlRHbNP__E484XltW6OTE7PrNM6dILCgjKoXJ6M38