The (un)Common Good

My Gen-Z teenager said yesterday that she didn’t want to be a witness to any more historical events. She wants a tasteless, odorless, colorless, plain cheese pizza of a 2021.  I agree.

The past four years have been painful in so many ways.  As the mother of a transgender queer child, watching the Trump administration take over 65 discriminatory actions against LGBTQ Americans has been a stake to my heart.  Watching others support those attacks with their voices and votes, no matter how politely, has been brutal.  But in addition to the impact on our own family, seeing the lack of empathy that has overtaken our culture is shocking. 

The defense of the murder of George Floyd (he had a record).  The defense of babies taken away from their mothers (they shouldn’t have come here).  The resistance to a living wage (just work harder).  The abuse of the planet (business comes first).  The outrage at vandalism of property (lives lost are secondary).  The jaded acceptance of deaths due to covid (it’s the individual’s responsibility).  The lack of concern for others’ safety (I have a right not to mask). The refusal to provide access to healthcare (that’s socialism). The dismissal of the US Capitol rioters (they were imposters).  This has become common and it is not good. 

And it is not pro-life.  All these attitudes lead to death.  More than ever, we know that the position of POTUS is critically important. Some used to say, "the real power lies in Congress and the president is mostly a figurehead." When a president lies about election fraud, millions of people believe him even when all evidence is to the contrary. When a president encourages violence, thousands act, even though it is illegal. When a president uses dehumanizing language, millions lose empathy for their neighbor, even though their religion commands mercy.  For all the railing against radicals – however you define it - this dog eat dog culture is what I find most radical.  

I pray that the next four years, we find our way back to truth, not because we are followers but because we find a part of ourselves that got lost these past four years. The truth is: pursuing the common good, not maintaining our own comfort, is how we make America a more perfect union.  God help us.  

For a well sourced list of the discriminatory actions taken by the Trump administration since January 20, 2017, see https://transequality.org/the-discrimination-administration 

   

 

It's Personal

 In case you’ve been living under a rock, we have an election in November.  Every election is a triggering event for me.  I am the mother of a precious and beautiful child who is part of the LGBTQ community.  Every election, I am reminded of the reasons people give for putting people in power that take rights and protections away from my child.  Many think marriage equality was upheld so there is nothing else to worry about – not so.  Over and over, my heart is broken by strangers and by friends and by family.

So, before you vote in November, maybe you can at least understand the ramifications of your vote on my family and maybe even vote for equality for my child.  I am desperately fighting for my daughter to have equal rights by the time she finishes college and enters adulthood. 

In Texas, there is no protection for my child from discrimination in housing, education, healthcare, credit, or gender marker change, for instance.  Several key protections were rescinded by the current federal administration.  The Supreme Court recently ruled that the 1964 Civil Rights Act included protection from employment discrimination for LGBTQ Americans so thank you to those justices who consider my child worthy of her right to fair employment.  And make no mistake, LGBTQ people are suffering from discrimination in the areas I list above. These are not exaggerated or isolated incidents.  And it’s not only the absence of protections; it is the passing of discriminatory legislation as well. 

The experience of someone in authority telling you they refuse to treat your child with dignity or to abide by a judge’s order is one I hope nobody has.  The experience of parents telling their kids they can’t come to our house or waiting on pins and needles to see if the legal system will treat your child fairly is heartbreaking.  If you haven’t been through this, you don’t understand how it diminishes you.  I will say this experience has made me even more supportive of dismantling any sort of structures or systems that perpetuate injustice.

Some people won’t vote for a progressive candidate because they want lower taxes or the unborn are more important than my [already born] child or while they are “fiscally conservative but socially progressive,” they vote conservatively because well, the economy.  The economy/my wallet argument is a luxury and a privilege I don’t have.  And to be clear, civil rights are not “social issues” to believe in or not believe in.  What I hear is:  My bank account is more important than civil rights for your child.  It’s personal. 

Please don’t tell me you are working to “change things from the inside.”  There is no time for that.  One day, the Republican party will recover from the damage done by Trump and the religious right.  But right now, my daughter needs healthcare, education, and safety.  And dignity.

And lastly, do not tell me you love or support my child while voting for conservatives, especially in this election.  You are not supporting my child.  While you may be a sympathizer, you are not an ally.  An ally cares so much about issues that don’t directly affect them, that they are willing to give up something to help.  If you still want to vote for conservatives, that’s your right.  But don’t go to bed at night with a clear conscience because you feel sorry for us. 

If you would like to learn more about the science of gender and sexuality, I recommend the National Geographic documentary, Gender Revolution.

If you would like to learn more about the experience of being LGBTQ in America, watch the documentary, For They Know Not What They Do.