Dear Episcopalians:

This is an open letter to my beloved fellow Episcopalians…  With all the love I have, I challenge you to look at your churches through the eyes and ears of non-Episcopalians.

In my ministry of welcome, I have the opportunity to see the Episcopal Church through the eyes of people who have never set foot in our churches.  When we ask visitors, “Are you familiar with Episcopal worship?” we genuinely want to know so that we can help them worship.  As I sit with guests and give them the backstage tour, I am worshiping through their experience.  There are many aspects of our worship that are mysterious to the outsider.  And that is the point:  what we do and say makes many feel like outsiders, that they don't belong here.  I trust that’s not your intent, but it’s true. 

I explain that worship follows a rhythm:  scripture, sermon, prayers in the first half and then communion in the second half (and I explain what communion is).  I explain that we read the Gospel among the people, facing the door, to remind us to take the Gospel out into the world.  I explain the passing of the peace is a symbolic reconciliation of one to another before we come to the Table together.  I explain that we stand or kneel to pray because that is an active posture but do whatever you helps you worship.  You get the idea.  These things are generally received with wonder and gratitude.

I also explain all the insider language that is thrown about like it’s common knowledge.  Fellow Anglicans, most people don’t know what vestry, narthex, DOK, EYC, Diocesan Council, Shrove Tuesday, Lent, Sr. Warden, or pledging means.  They don’t. 

Since I help people all over the country return to Christian community after church wounding experiences, I get to hear their reactions to churches I recommend they visit.  I refer to Episcopal churches as well as other denominations.  Their feedback informs my ministry in critical ways.  I have sat on the phone with people as they have looked at Episcopal websites and asked, “What is Rite I?  What is Holy Eucharist?  I don’t know what they are talking about.”  They literally do not understand our language and when people are confused, they aren’t drawn to our communities.  (The book pictured here is 85 pages.)

Most of the time, when people visit our churches and don’t come back, we never know why.   I get to hear all that feedback.  Even with my prepping them, they still get confused.  One family left in the middle of the service because at the passing of the peace, they literally thought it was over because it was such a break in the liturgy.  They tell me that they don’t feel comfortable in a church where all the children’s materials picture exclusively white children when they foster children of all colors.  They don't know what Seafarer's Boxes are.  They don’t know why we cross ourselves. They are concerned about a senior warden, since that sounds like judgement and enforcement.  Some churches have adopted the more accurate term, senior steward. Still  not super clear but less scary than warden.

I challenge you to look at all your language and practices and see them from the eyes of someone who knows nothing about your home church nor the Episcopal Church.  If your “Who We Are” tab on your website starts out with, “In 1957, …” please consider putting that under a tab called History and do some discernment about who you really are today and tell that story on the Who We Are tab.  Describe your worship experience in terms that anyone can understand.  Look for all the insider language and get rid of it or define it.  Tell a story of who you serve – the difference your church makes in the world. 

When you make announcements, provide brief explanations.  Vestry - our leadership board.  EYC - Episcopal Youth Community.  Narthex - welcoming area.  Explain events and their purpose even if you “do it every year.”  It takes almost no time.  And for goodness sake, stop saying cradle Episcopalian.  It hardly gets more exclusive than that.  Are you a club or a church?