It's Personal

 In case you’ve been living under a rock, we have an election in November.  Every election is a triggering event for me.  I am the mother of a precious and beautiful child who is part of the LGBTQ community.  Every election, I am reminded of the reasons people give for putting people in power that take rights and protections away from my child.  Many think marriage equality was upheld so there is nothing else to worry about – not so.  Over and over, my heart is broken by strangers and by friends and by family.

So, before you vote in November, maybe you can at least understand the ramifications of your vote on my family and maybe even vote for equality for my child.  I am desperately fighting for my daughter to have equal rights by the time she finishes college and enters adulthood. 

In Texas, there is no protection for my child from discrimination in housing, education, healthcare, credit, or gender marker change, for instance.  Several key protections were rescinded by the current federal administration.  The Supreme Court recently ruled that the 1964 Civil Rights Act included protection from employment discrimination for LGBTQ Americans so thank you to those justices who consider my child worthy of her right to fair employment.  And make no mistake, LGBTQ people are suffering from discrimination in the areas I list above. These are not exaggerated or isolated incidents.  And it’s not only the absence of protections; it is the passing of discriminatory legislation as well. 

The experience of someone in authority telling you they refuse to treat your child with dignity or to abide by a judge’s order is one I hope nobody has.  The experience of parents telling their kids they can’t come to our house or waiting on pins and needles to see if the legal system will treat your child fairly is heartbreaking.  If you haven’t been through this, you don’t understand how it diminishes you.  I will say this experience has made me even more supportive of dismantling any sort of structures or systems that perpetuate injustice.

Some people won’t vote for a progressive candidate because they want lower taxes or the unborn are more important than my [already born] child or while they are “fiscally conservative but socially progressive,” they vote conservatively because well, the economy.  The economy/my wallet argument is a luxury and a privilege I don’t have.  And to be clear, civil rights are not “social issues” to believe in or not believe in.  What I hear is:  My bank account is more important than civil rights for your child.  It’s personal. 

Please don’t tell me you are working to “change things from the inside.”  There is no time for that.  One day, the Republican party will recover from the damage done by Trump and the religious right.  But right now, my daughter needs healthcare, education, and safety.  And dignity.

And lastly, do not tell me you love or support my child while voting for conservatives, especially in this election.  You are not supporting my child.  While you may be a sympathizer, you are not an ally.  An ally cares so much about issues that don’t directly affect them, that they are willing to give up something to help.  If you still want to vote for conservatives, that’s your right.  But don’t go to bed at night with a clear conscience because you feel sorry for us. 

If you would like to learn more about the science of gender and sexuality, I recommend the National Geographic documentary, Gender Revolution.

If you would like to learn more about the experience of being LGBTQ in America, watch the documentary, For They Know Not What They Do.

My Mask Meltdown

I had a meltdown last night.  I made a rare stop at the grocery store to get a few things.  I left angry.  About half the customers weren’t wearing masks which put me and others at risk for contracting the Covid-19 virus. When I talked to the manager (yep!), she lamented it was a corporate decision and although they had appealed to the union, they are still in danger every day due to customers without masks.  I posted on Facebook:  “If you don’t wear a mask at the grocery store, just unfriend me now.” 

On Facebook, I was called “harsh” for rejecting friendships that lack concern for others.  It was labeled “not cool” to draw a line in the [safety] sand.  Apparently, it is a “personal choice” to endanger others and I need to respect that.  Here’s what’s harsh and not cool:  not caring enough to consider how your individual actions impact the common good.  Maybe there is a very good reason for not wearing a mask, but I never hear anyone explain beyond a simple preference.  Comfort, I guess?

My 91-year old mother lives with me and she has emphysema and lung cancer.  So, in this time of quarantine, masks on others are critical.  If I were to contract the virus and bring it home to my mother, she would not survive.  Our homemade masks (thanks to our teen) minimally protect us from contracting Covid-19 but primarily they protect others in the event we are asymptomatic carriers.  The science is clear on this point: you can shed the virus even if you feel perfectly fine.

If you want excellent information about how the virus is transmitted in stores, restaurants, etc. from an expert - not a politician or a journalist - see the link at the end of this post. 

In addition to Costco making masks a requirement for entrance to their stores, I learned that Whole Foods was asking all customers to wear masks and providing them if you didn’t have one.  Since we needed groceries, I set off for Whole Foods.  There were multiple safety precautions and I saw only two customers without masks.  And it was glorious.

 

It felt like love.  It felt like light.  It felt holy.  Strangers with a message all over their faces:  I see you.  Your safety matters.  I am willing to be uncomfortable to keep you well.  We’re in this together.  It was holy. 

I love the way Lutheran Pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber describes holiness. She says that holiness is the connection of things human and divine…the coming together of things formerly set apart.  Pastor Nadia is careful to reject the dangerous theology that purity is the same thing as holiness:  “holiness is about union with, and purity is about separation from.”  

This putting others above our own comfort is exactly what Jesus was talking about when he said the most important laws were loving God and loving neighbor.  If we are to encounter the holy, be in union with our fellow humans during this difficult time, then our actions must foster safety and reduce risk.  

Christina Baldwin, author of The Seven Whispers, says “the purpose of life is not to maintain personal comfort; it’s to grow the soul.”  My prayer is that this quarantine is growing our souls in new and radical ways because our literal lives depend on it. 

https://www.erinbromage.com/post/the-risks-know-them-avoid-them?fbclid=IwAR0wOPJiLWiTie08Y9nlRHbNP__E484XltW6OTE7PrNM6dILCgjKoXJ6M38