Invite, Welcome & Connect – Strategy or Culture?

I started out to write something completely different for St. Mary's seasonal newsletter but this article flowed on to the page.  A slightly edited version was published on the Episcopal Diocese of Texas website last week.    http://www.epicenter.org/article/invite-welcome-connect-strategy-or-culture/

I recently had the opportunity to hear Bishop Doyle speak at the Invite-Welcome-Connect Summit at Camp Allen.  Bishop Doyle challenged us to think about new ways to expand the kingdom and to move beyond some of the “ways we have always done it.” 

One of the things he said that has been ringing in my ears is this:

When we start a sentence with

“How can we get them to…”

we are not living the Gospel of connection; that this question is a question for the past.

Rev. Katie’s sermon about the vine and the branches hit me square in the face the day after I returned from Camp Allen.  We aren’t supposed to decide for others what kind of fruit they are to bear; that is God’s job.  When we ask “how can we get them to…” we are deciding what kind of fruit others should bear.  Yikes. 

I admit I have said “how can we get them to…”  I have said this in relation to getting folks to Sunday School, getting folks to attend an event, getting folks to participate in ministry, etc.  This way of thinking is a tactic. The alternative is to ask “how can we provide faith formation other than Sunday morning?” or “how does this group want to connect?”  or  “what are you called to do?”  

As I pondered creating a forum for newcomers to connect, I couldn’t get at peace with designing something around a three- or four-week Sunday morning class format.  I was in the How Do We Get Them mode and it felt wrong.  As I talk to visitors and members alike, so many of you are just out of breath with how busy and stretched you are and I didn’t want this activity (which should be a source of joy) to be another burden in an already packed week.   

It’s amazing how it changes your motivation and your actions when you take this “How can we get them to” phrase out of your vocabulary.  It takes you to a place of discernment focused on the other person’s needs and calling instead of employing a tactic or strategy.  Just like with inviting folks to church, our job isn’t to convince anyone; it’s to extend the invitation out of our love for Jesus and let God do the rest.

One of the things that has come to me from this new perspective is a new way for newcomers to connect to St. Mary’s.  Beginning in July, we will have our first Seekers Forum.  This group will meet in person on a Saturday to get to know each other and help one another get connected digitally.  Then for several weeks, we will consider questions and participate in discussions in a private Facebook group.  The Forum will culminate with a fellowship dinner at the Rectory.  [Before you assume that this is only for the younger generation, you need to know more than half of all adults 65 and older are on Facebook – and growing.]

What can you do?  I often hear folks ask “how can we get visitors to stay?”  I would ask you to help nurture a culture of welcome instead of executing a welcome strategy.  Approach our welcome of the stranger from a place of love and ask “how can I help someone feel included” or “how can I share the love I have for this community with others?” After worship and particularly after the 10:30 am service, spend the first three minutes talking to those that you either don’t know well or don’t recognize.  Simply introduce yourself.  Be alert at any time for those who are standing or sitting alone and share your love by truly seeing them and go speak to them.  Make sure you are standing in a “C” instead of a closed circle so there is always an opening for someone else to join the conversation. 

They will know we are Christians by our love.