Texas. Oh, Texas.

I have been planning for this day for weeks.  I socialized as much as I could last week because I was afraid if Texas went further to the right, I wouldn’t be up for company.  Our grief is particular to our family and I know for many, there are other implications that sting just as much.  So here goes…

Intent is never on the ballot. It may not be your intent to harm our family with your conservative vote. However, you are not absolved from the harm because it wasn’t your intent or you choose to stick your head in the sand. The Republican platform and lawmakers are very clear about their plans. I will continue to hold conservatives accountable for the damage they are inflicting on LGBTQ+ people and transgender people especially.  Giving conservative lawmakers more power is never allyship; it is dangerous. 

I was an election judge yesterday at a polling location so it was a good distraction from the gravity of the day.  I especially try to ensure that those who may be at risk for being marginalized are treated with great respect.  I wear my progress pin as a signal that I am a safe person.  I am always deeply moved by Black voters.  I’ll say it again: the fact that African Americans haven’t burned this country to the ground is a testament to their character.  This morning, I am wondering if I have any fight left in me and my people haven’t experienced half of what they have.

I had three interactions with African American folks that will stay with me.  A young and energetic poll watcher joined us and I could see poll watching was too passive for her.  It was hard to tell her that we couldn’t converse unless she was notifying me of an observed irregularity but these boundaries protect everyone.  There were a few opportunities for us to interact.  I encouraged her to become an election clerk and we exchanged contact info so I can hire her for the next election. I wished I could have heard her story.  When she left, she gave me the very kindest note. 

An older man in a motorized wheelchair came in to vote.  I was assisting the clerks check him in and he had a really hard time using the equipment so I asked him if he wanted my assistance in the booth.  I enlarged the font on the screen so he could read the text and helped him make his selections. As he voted, he told me about his concerns for our democracy. Of course, I had to tell him that I couldn’t comment but I hoped he knew I was a kindred spirit.  He had so much dignity and resolve and I wished I could have hugged him. 

Lastly, a mom came in with her teenager who appeared to be possibly gender non-conforming and we celebrated their first time voting.  While they waited for an open booth, the mother commented that they were exercising their civil rights. We shared a moment about that and I wished I could have shared some encouraging words but election law prevented me from doing so.  

There are many things I would like to say to folks when I am working elections to show them they are seen.  But due to election law, my verbal interactions are regulated.  This is fair and correct so I choose my words carefully and show respect in other ways: eye contact, an open posture, a smile, showing patience when things get complicated, answering questions completely, thanking them for voting, being aware when they seem confused, and keeping snacks handy for tired children.  For those who experience discrimination, voting is a special vulnerability.  I hate turning anyone away from the poll and I will exhaust every method to qualify them. And if they can’t vote that day, I give them information to remedy the issue and be as gentle as I can delivering this bad news.  I had to turn away a new citizen who said he registered to vote at his naturalization ceremony earlier in the year.  The disappointment was heartbreaking. 

Most of us have not experienced being excluded from participating in our democracy.  I believe exclusion is one of the most painful human experiences.  My family must now make some very difficult decisions in order to get my child to safety. All indicators tell us that her lifesaving healthcare will be banned through age 25 and the wave of anti-trans sentiment will only increase. She cannot live in this environment.  I am determined to help my child get to a place where the majority affirms all the beauty, magic and gifts she embodies.  She deserves to be included in all spaces and truly seen.  The vote is sacred and so is she.