I spent an hour this morning weeding
my flowerbeds and pruning my roses. Prior
to 2015, I worked 75 to 80 hours a week and this kind of morning solitude wasn’t
even on the radar. I absolutely adore
flowers and this morning was a fabulous gift.
I feel closest to God at this time of year – when everything is new and
blooming.
As I clipped off the dead roses,
I was thinking about all the new blooms that were to come and about how I
arrived at this stage in life where I can begin my morning by working in my
yard while listening to the doves coo. I
was also thinking about how my path continues to wind in unexpected directions
and I cannot predict how my life will look a year from now. And I’m okay with that.
People often say “God has a plan.” They usually say this
when something difficult or confusing happens.
I actually never say this. As I
look back on my life of do-overs and second chances, I can clearly see God’s
hand at work but to me, “plan” has a linear connotation, that there is
something that happens, first, second, third, and so on and that if we take a
detour, we might ruin it. I have seen
how God has given me choices, all of which are good. I remember a particular time of vocational discernment
when I asked God plainly to tell me what to do.
The answer was, “whatever you want.”
My follow up question was “but what do I give up?” The answer was, “whatever you let go will be
fine. Whatever you retain will be fine.” It freed me from worrying about making the
dreaded wrong decision and was a lesson in God’s abundant generosity.
That is when purpose became very
clear to me. And maybe I’m parsing words
here but I learned that God has a
purpose for me and all people that is to be lived out while on earth. That purpose can be lived out in many
different ways and times and there doesn’t have to be a specific ordering to
it. If we choose A over B, God’s purpose
will still be there. God has a job for
each of us to do and she works with whatever we have to accomplish that
purpose.
And because God is love, love is
our guide. Go towards the love. Go towards what makes your heart sing. When I make decisions from a place of fear, I
am rarely happy with the outcome.
The opposite of faith is not doubt but fear. Fear drives us away from God. By the way, the word fear is often misused as
a virtue as in “God-fearing Christian.”
The Hebrew word often translated as fear also means “in awe of.” We don’t need to be afraid of God to be
faithful.
I sometimes doubt if I’m living
out God’s purpose and that’s why I don’t try to be a Christian alone. Through the feedback and involvement of
others, I can see God’s purpose more clearly.
I have shared in other posts my ministry with wounded seekers who want to return to Christian community.
When I hear back from someone I’ve worked with in this way, and they
share their experience of healing, it reinforces all I know about God: that God is about love and mercy, and that
God still works miracles. This makes my
heart sing and I know this is my purpose.
These seekers are grateful to me but I am grateful to them for showing
me God’s hand at work.
It truly is a miracle when I see
how doors open for these seekers – not a linear plan but a messy, winding path
where the dead things get pruned and new blooms erupt. Sometimes, we must let go of things that were
once beautiful so that new things can take their place. Is there something in your life you need to
let go of so that love can be more fully realized? What is God saying to you about your purpose?
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