You may have heard the phrase “thin
places,” those moments or places where we feel the space between God and us
becomes very close or thin and we experience God in a profound way. Usually, when I’m in a thin place, I
cry. Sometimes, we intentionally create
thin places and other times, these places occur spontaneously. I’d like to talk about tender places today.
These are the places that enable
us to see God in each other, where Jesus shines through another person. Creating these places is becoming a passion
of mine because I see how helpful it is to those who experience them,
especially for newcomers to our churches.
Many Christians know that they
can be Christians by walking in the forest on a Sunday morning and praying to
God and living out their beliefs in the world in various ways. But I find in my own ministry, that many
Christians don’t want to be solo practitioners; they want to be in community
with other Christians. The disconnect happens
when they can’t find a community that feels like home. As I listen to seekers, I hear these three
things: they want to encounter the sacred, be sent to make a difference, and be safe while they're doing all that. Sacred,
sent, safe.
That’s where the tender places
come in. These places come from a place
of both bravery and vulnerability – to be able to bravely commit to sharing our
experiences and to being vulnerable by telling those experiences truthfully. This last part about truth is most important. If we carefully curate our stories, our
Christian witness does not produce fruit.
While curating “our best life” on Facebook is commonplace, within our
Christian communities, we need relief from the pressure of feeling like we can’t
go to church until we get it all together (never) or that we can’t share our
struggles there.
If we aren’t being our real and
authentic selves in our churches, then we can’t see Jesus in one another
because Jesus isn’t revealed in perfection; Jesus is revealed in imperfection.
Jesus leaned into all the imperfection around him until the end. He was real in every way.
So how do we avoid just keeping
up appearances in our churches?
Intentionally create tender places.
These are times and places where all, especially newcomers, can share
their stories. Before we rush to assimilate,
integrate, and incorporate (all words I reject, btw), I encourage you to commit
to forums where we can be our authentic selves through meals with guided
conversation, storysharing events, small
groups that aren’t about membership or Bible study, and starting meetings with
a shared story. Clergy can model tender
places by sharing their experiences with all the bumps and detours, not a
perfected, unattainable example. (Photo of our sharing space created from a classroom.)
If your way to create home for
your newcomers is to welcome them on Sunday and then plug them into ministry, please
reconsider actually getting to know them first.
And make that experience an authentic one where you can show them that
your church is home to real people living real lives. And, expect to hear some stories of miracles! Miracles still happen and need to be received
with joy. This may seem obvious but nothing kills a person’s feeling of
belonging like minimizing their experience of God.
With all the recent upheaval in various
denominations, we may have seekers in our Episcopal churches with heavy hearts
over the coming years. They will need tender
places to heal. In order to encounter
God and reveal Jesus, we need to be able to take down our walls. How do you take down your walls if you do not
see vulnerability and authenticity modeled in others? Can you show others who you truly are so they
can encounter the sacred, and be sent and safe?
