This is an open letter to my
beloved fellow Episcopalians… With all
the love I have, I challenge you to look at your churches through the eyes and
ears of non-Episcopalians.
In my ministry of welcome, I have
the opportunity to see the Episcopal Church through the eyes of people who have
never set foot in our churches. When we
ask visitors, “Are you familiar with Episcopal worship?” we genuinely want to
know so that we can help them worship.
As I sit with guests and give them the backstage tour, I am worshiping
through their experience. There are many
aspects of our worship that are mysterious to the outsider. And that is the point: what we do and say makes many feel like
outsiders, that they don't belong here. I trust that’s not your
intent, but it’s true.
I explain that worship follows a
rhythm: scripture, sermon, prayers in
the first half and then communion in the second half (and I explain what
communion is). I explain that we read
the Gospel among the people, facing the door, to remind us to take the Gospel
out into the world. I explain the
passing of the peace is a symbolic reconciliation of one to another before we
come to the Table together. I explain
that we stand or kneel to pray because that is an active posture but do
whatever you helps you worship. You get
the idea. These things are generally received
with wonder and gratitude.
I also explain all the insider
language that is thrown about like it’s common knowledge. Fellow Anglicans, most people don’t know what
vestry, narthex, DOK, EYC, Diocesan Council, Shrove Tuesday, Lent, Sr. Warden,
or pledging means. They don’t.
Since I help people all over the
country return to Christian community after church wounding experiences, I get
to hear their reactions to churches I recommend they visit. I refer to Episcopal churches as well as
other denominations. Their feedback
informs my ministry in critical ways. I
have sat on the phone with people as they have looked at Episcopal websites and
asked, “What is Rite I? What is Holy
Eucharist? I don’t know what they are
talking about.” They literally do not
understand our language and when people are confused, they aren’t drawn to our communities. (The book pictured here is 85 pages.)
Most of the time, when people
visit our churches and don’t come back, we never know why. I get to hear all that feedback. Even with my prepping them, they still get
confused. One family left in the middle
of the service because at the passing of the peace, they literally thought it
was over because it was such a break in the liturgy. They tell me that they don’t feel comfortable
in a church where all the children’s materials picture exclusively white
children when they foster children of all colors. They don't know what Seafarer's Boxes are. They don’t know why we cross
ourselves. They are concerned about a senior warden, since that sounds like
judgement and enforcement. Some churches
have adopted the more accurate term, senior steward. Still not super clear but less scary than warden.
I challenge you to look at all
your language and practices and see them from the eyes of someone who knows
nothing about your home church nor the Episcopal Church. If your “Who We Are” tab on your website
starts out with, “In 1957, …” please consider putting that under a tab called
History and do some discernment about who you really are today and tell that
story on the Who We Are tab. Describe your
worship experience in terms that anyone can understand. Look for all the insider language and get rid
of it or define it. Tell a story of who
you serve – the difference your church makes in the world.
When you make announcements, provide
brief explanations. Vestry - our
leadership board. EYC - Episcopal Youth
Community. Narthex - welcoming
area. Explain events and their purpose
even if you “do it every year.” It takes
almost no time. And for goodness sake,
stop saying cradle Episcopalian. It
hardly gets more exclusive than that. Are
you a club or a church?
