Fire and Rain

I am about 12 hours into a 24-hour news fast.  The gun violence in El Paso and Dayton and the response to these tragedies has just broken my heart in two.  As I drove to my morning appointment, I knew I needed music. Music restores me. I didn’t want to turn on the radio because I might slip and listen to the news.   So I took my phone out and put on James Taylor, of all people.  I am not a particular fan nor listen to him often but I did grow up with his music.

I actually think James Taylor wrote a prayer for all of us in this time of grief. James Taylor might have written a Psalm.  The Psalms were Jesus’ prayer book and they are full of grief, disappointment, frustration, joy, hope, and celebration – all the ways we are human.  When I heard Fire and Rain this morning, it hit me like a prayer, like a Psalm.  

As he sang, I heard the lyrics in a different context than ever before.  It starts out:

Just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone
Susanne, the plans they made put an end to you.
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song
I just can't remember who to send it to.

At first, I thought this first verse seemed out of place but then it hit me.  This is the lament of everyone who lost someone in these recent shootings. Insert the name of a loved one in the place of “Susanne.”  It speaks to the need to share this pain, but with who?

It goes on:

I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again.

Won't you look down upon me, Jesus
You've got to help me make a stand.

You've just got to see me through another day.
My body's aching and my time is at hand
And I won't make it any other way.

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you again.

Been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned towards the sun.
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around.
Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come.
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I'd see you, baby, one more time again, now.

Thought I'd see you one more time again
There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now
Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you fire and rain, now.

And now, as we keep walking, let us pray together not just for the victims, the shooters, and the lawmakers.  Let us pray that we ourselves are called to action to heal this country and see each other as the image of God.  Look down upon me Jesus and help me make a stand.  Amen.

Link to Fire and Rain (updated 2019) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9TimVHRXQ4

Plan & Purpose: What's the Difference?

I spent an hour this morning weeding my flowerbeds and pruning my roses.  Prior to 2015, I worked 75 to 80 hours a week and this kind of morning solitude wasn’t even on the radar.  I absolutely adore flowers and this morning was a fabulous gift.  I feel closest to God at this time of year – when everything is new and blooming. 

As I clipped off the dead roses, I was thinking about all the new blooms that were to come and about how I arrived at this stage in life where I can begin my morning by working in my yard while listening to the doves coo.  I was also thinking about how my path continues to wind in unexpected directions and I cannot predict how my life will look a year from now.  And I’m okay with that. 

People often say “God has a plan.”  They usually say this when something difficult or confusing happens.  I actually never say this.  As I look back on my life of do-overs and second chances, I can clearly see God’s hand at work but to me, “plan” has a linear connotation, that there is something that happens, first, second, third, and so on and that if we take a detour, we might ruin it.  I have seen how God has given me choices, all of which are good.  I remember a particular time of vocational discernment when I asked God plainly to tell me what to do.  The answer was, “whatever you want.”  My follow up question was “but what do I give up?”  The answer was, “whatever you let go will be fine.  Whatever you retain will be fine.”  It freed me from worrying about making the dreaded wrong decision and was a lesson in God’s abundant generosity.   

That is when purpose became very clear to me.  And maybe I’m parsing words here but I learned that God has a purpose for me and all people that is to be lived out while on earth.  That purpose can be lived out in many different ways and times and there doesn’t have to be a specific ordering to it.  If we choose A over B, God’s purpose will still be there.  God has a job for each of us to do and she works with whatever we have to accomplish that purpose. 

And because God is love, love is our guide.  Go towards the love.  Go towards what makes your heart sing.  When I make decisions from a place of fear, I am rarely happy with the outcome.  The opposite of faith is not doubt but fear.  Fear drives us away from God.  By the way, the word fear is often misused as a virtue as in “God-fearing Christian.”  The Hebrew word often translated as fear also means “in awe of.”  We don’t need to be afraid of God to be faithful. 

I sometimes doubt if I’m living out God’s purpose and that’s why I don’t try to be a Christian alone.  Through the feedback and involvement of others, I can see God’s purpose more clearly.  I have shared in other posts my ministry with wounded seekers who want to return to Christian community.  When I hear back from someone I’ve worked with in this way, and they share their experience of healing, it reinforces all I know about God:  that God is about love and mercy, and that God still works miracles.  This makes my heart sing and I know this is my purpose.  These seekers are grateful to me but I am grateful to them for showing me God’s hand at work. 

It truly is a miracle when I see how doors open for these seekers – not a linear plan but a messy, winding path where the dead things get pruned and new blooms erupt.  Sometimes, we must let go of things that were once beautiful so that new things can take their place.  Is there something in your life you need to let go of so that love can be more fully realized?  What is God saying to you about your purpose? 

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Tender Places

You may have heard the phrase “thin places,” those moments or places where we feel the space between God and us becomes very close or thin and we experience God in a profound way.  Usually, when I’m in a thin place, I cry.  Sometimes, we intentionally create thin places and other times, these places occur spontaneously.  I’d like to talk about tender places today.

These are the places that enable us to see God in each other, where Jesus shines through another person.  Creating these places is becoming a passion of mine because I see how helpful it is to those who experience them, especially for newcomers to our churches. 

Many Christians know that they can be Christians by walking in the forest on a Sunday morning and praying to God and living out their beliefs in the world in various ways.  But I find in my own ministry, that many Christians don’t want to be solo practitioners; they want to be in community with other Christians.  The disconnect happens when they can’t find a community that feels like home.  As I listen to seekers, I hear these three things: they want to encounter the sacred, be sent to make a difference, and be safe while they're doing all that.  Sacred, sent, safe.

That’s where the tender places come in.  These places come from a place of both bravery and vulnerability – to be able to bravely commit to sharing our experiences and to being vulnerable by telling those experiences truthfully.  This last part about truth is most important.  If we carefully curate our stories, our Christian witness does not produce fruit.  While curating “our best life” on Facebook is commonplace, within our Christian communities, we need relief from the pressure of feeling like we can’t go to church until we get it all together (never) or that we can’t share our struggles there. 

If we aren’t being our real and authentic selves in our churches, then we can’t see Jesus in one another because Jesus isn’t revealed in perfection; Jesus is revealed in imperfection.  Jesus leaned into all the imperfection around him until the end.  He was real in every way.

So how do we avoid just keeping up appearances in our churches?  Intentionally create tender places.  These are times and places where all, especially newcomers, can share their stories.  Before we rush to assimilate, integrate, and incorporate (all words I reject, btw), I encourage you to commit to forums where we can be our authentic selves through meals with guided conversation, storysharing events,  small groups that aren’t about membership or Bible study, and starting meetings with a shared story.  Clergy can model tender places by sharing their experiences with all the bumps and detours, not a perfected, unattainable example. (Photo of our sharing space created from a classroom.)

If your way to create home for your newcomers is to welcome them on Sunday and then plug them into ministry, please reconsider actually getting to know them first.  And make that experience an authentic one where you can show them that your church is home to real people living real lives.  And, expect to hear some stories of miracles!  Miracles still happen and need to be received with joy. This may seem obvious but nothing kills a person’s feeling of belonging like minimizing their experience of God.

With all the recent upheaval in various denominations, we may have seekers in our Episcopal churches with heavy hearts over the coming years.  They will need tender places to heal.  In order to encounter God and reveal Jesus, we need to be able to take down our walls.  How do you take down your walls if you do not see vulnerability and authenticity modeled in others?  Can you show others who you truly are so they can encounter the sacred, and be sent and safe?

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Dear Episcopalians:

This is an open letter to my beloved fellow Episcopalians…  With all the love I have, I challenge you to look at your churches through the eyes and ears of non-Episcopalians.

In my ministry of welcome, I have the opportunity to see the Episcopal Church through the eyes of people who have never set foot in our churches.  When we ask visitors, “Are you familiar with Episcopal worship?” we genuinely want to know so that we can help them worship.  As I sit with guests and give them the backstage tour, I am worshiping through their experience.  There are many aspects of our worship that are mysterious to the outsider.  And that is the point:  what we do and say makes many feel like outsiders, that they don't belong here.  I trust that’s not your intent, but it’s true. 

I explain that worship follows a rhythm:  scripture, sermon, prayers in the first half and then communion in the second half (and I explain what communion is).  I explain that we read the Gospel among the people, facing the door, to remind us to take the Gospel out into the world.  I explain the passing of the peace is a symbolic reconciliation of one to another before we come to the Table together.  I explain that we stand or kneel to pray because that is an active posture but do whatever you helps you worship.  You get the idea.  These things are generally received with wonder and gratitude.

I also explain all the insider language that is thrown about like it’s common knowledge.  Fellow Anglicans, most people don’t know what vestry, narthex, DOK, EYC, Diocesan Council, Shrove Tuesday, Lent, Sr. Warden, or pledging means.  They don’t. 

Since I help people all over the country return to Christian community after church wounding experiences, I get to hear their reactions to churches I recommend they visit.  I refer to Episcopal churches as well as other denominations.  Their feedback informs my ministry in critical ways.  I have sat on the phone with people as they have looked at Episcopal websites and asked, “What is Rite I?  What is Holy Eucharist?  I don’t know what they are talking about.”  They literally do not understand our language and when people are confused, they aren’t drawn to our communities.  (The book pictured here is 85 pages.)

Most of the time, when people visit our churches and don’t come back, we never know why.   I get to hear all that feedback.  Even with my prepping them, they still get confused.  One family left in the middle of the service because at the passing of the peace, they literally thought it was over because it was such a break in the liturgy.  They tell me that they don’t feel comfortable in a church where all the children’s materials picture exclusively white children when they foster children of all colors.  They don't know what Seafarer's Boxes are.  They don’t know why we cross ourselves. They are concerned about a senior warden, since that sounds like judgement and enforcement.  Some churches have adopted the more accurate term, senior steward. Still  not super clear but less scary than warden.

I challenge you to look at all your language and practices and see them from the eyes of someone who knows nothing about your home church nor the Episcopal Church.  If your “Who We Are” tab on your website starts out with, “In 1957, …” please consider putting that under a tab called History and do some discernment about who you really are today and tell that story on the Who We Are tab.  Describe your worship experience in terms that anyone can understand.  Look for all the insider language and get rid of it or define it.  Tell a story of who you serve – the difference your church makes in the world. 

When you make announcements, provide brief explanations.  Vestry - our leadership board.  EYC - Episcopal Youth Community.  Narthex - welcoming area.  Explain events and their purpose even if you “do it every year.”  It takes almost no time.  And for goodness sake, stop saying cradle Episcopalian.  It hardly gets more exclusive than that.  Are you a club or a church?